At the start the model will ask a receptionist which room the life drawing is in, the receptionist will instruct her to follow the signs. This sets the character up to wrongly read the sign and go into the wrong room due to her bad sight. The receptionist may also tell the model where to change into her robe as realistically she wouldn't just turn up in the robe. If we do the receptionist scene it will include the main characters walking out of the shot and then a clip of her walking out of the changing rooms. This would be the furthest door in the corridor shot.At the start you can also here us talking, this wont happen when we film the final one.
There is also issues with the continuity between the first and second shot. This is why we cut the first shot so that she runs out of the shot. This hopefully implies that the second shot is a different scene. We can also see her vest which doesn't look realistic.
As the advert is about the woman having bad eyesight we discussed the necessity of her being late, as this could detract from her mistake making it look as if she went into the wrong room due to being in a rush rather than not being able to see. However at 4 seconds into the advert the woman is seen looking at the doors reading the signs so it should be obvious to the audience that the mistake was due to bad eyesight. We also came to the conclusion that being in a rush is necessary as if she wasn't she wouldn't run straight into the middle of the circle and take her robe off.
During the final shooting of the shot of her walking towards the group while taking her robe off we need to frame more of the main character. It should also feature more people from the bereavement group to make it look more realistic and so we can actually create a circle of people.This involves us recruiting more actors/actresses.
When she drops the robe to the floor she's too close to the group and it doesn't look like she's in the middle of a circle. We think this shot should also include the other side of the circle, for instance another pair of feet between the life model's and the camera.
The shot after this will also benefit from having more people in the group as at the moment the three girls look like they are judges, friends who have watched the draft also thought the same thing, they don't look like they are grieving. It seems to be their body language that is giving the impression that they are judges, charlotte (the girl in the middle) has her legs crossed and her hands linked together on her lap making her look as if she has authority. For the advert to be more comedic the audince need to understand the role teh group are playing, their expressions need to be exaggerated. This could include mascara running down their faces, blowing noses with tissue, gasps, sniffles, sobbing etc. We will ask some friends who do drama a level to act in our final shoot.
he last shot works extremely well. However we can see her bra straps; we will acquire a skin colour bra for final shoot. The last shot also holds continuity issues; the door she walks through at the beginning is not the same as the door at the end, you can tell this as the door at the start has no window, whereas the door in the last shot does. We have considered the last shot showing the door closing (getting a glimpse of the scene) to reveal the bereavement sign. However we don't want to not use the glass shot.
In conclusion we need to book more time to shoot as many shots need a while to set up and get right (e.g. the shot of the group with the main character's nude side took a long time because the framing had to be perfect). We also need to get more actors to pad out the group and create realism. We realise that our advert is lacking in males which restricts our target audience. However our actress isn't comfortable with males being present during the nude shoot!
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